The Meaning of Community

I've been a part of many communities in my life. The Pomona College community. The multiracial, black, and Filipino communities. My family community. Even the El Camino Youth Flute Choir community. However, there have been times in my life when I've felt detached from all communities, and on my own. Graduating from high school I became more of an adult and less dependent on my family. Graduating from college I became alumnus, meaning I will forever be a welcome donor but I can no longer be a participant in the community as I was before in fear of being labeled a sad, sketchy alum that keeps coming back for parties. Coming out to Bali I've felt disconnected from all of my former communities. Lately I've been thinking, how important is it to me that I feel like part of a community?

In Bali, all Balinese are part of a community whether they like it or not. Every village is divided into banjars, or neighborhoods. But these neighborhoods entail more responsibility than your average Neighborhood Watch program. As part of a banjar each family and every family member is expected to take an active part in the ceremonies and activities of the banjar. These ceremonies include odalans (a week of temple ceremonies for some reason that I can't figure out), cremation ceremonies (for anyone in the banjar who dies), marriage ceremonies, etc. Preparing for these ceremonies takes a lot of work. There are offerings to be made, food to be cooked, decorations to be created...and I'm not talking just taking a trip to Party City and buying balloons or buying ready-made cookies from the supermarket. These necessities are all prepared by hand. Offerings are made by folding banana and coconut leaves like origami and adding the right assortment of food, money, or flowers. Decorations are also created from scratch with long leaves of plants and thin sticks used hold the designs together. The people of the banjar come together and chat and drink coffee and prepare for ceremonies together on a weekly basis. They visit a neighbor if a loved one dies to give their condolences. Their kids play together in the local field. They celebrate love, loss, and prayer together their whole lives. That's community.

I'm realizing more and more that, for me, being part of a community is necessary. A support system is something that I've always taken for granted. So, I decided last week that I will go home for Christmas. While my own personal growth and life experiences are important, I want to make sure that I also remain part of my communities back home. So I will return to celebrate love, loss, and holy days with the people that mean the most to me.